It is not your responsibility to make every moment perfect or to ease his discomfort. Show up authentically and relax into your feminine. Leave space for awkward pauses and uncomfortable moments.
A man who wants a long-term committed relationship will want to be your hero. If you continue to rescue things when they get bumpy, you’ll never know if he will step up to fill those shoes. Plus, you’ll get a clearer picture of who he is when you leave the space for him to do all the DOING and you just simply respond.
Even if you feel uncomfortable resist the urge to make things better. Imagine that he is the comedian on stage and you’re in the audience. If you take this advice you will never again have to ask a man three months into dating, “Where is this going?”
Don’t Make Excuses For Him Or His Behavior
Talking on the phone or over video chat will not give you insight into who he really is. Being with him out in the world and seeing how he interacts with valets, waiters, or other service people will reveal more.
If his behavior towards you or anyone else is troubling to you, don’t make excuses for bad behavior. If you have concerns share how you feel. Take note of behaviors that could be part of a bigger pattern that may concern you.
When you meet someone for the first time the desire for it to be magical and romantic can cloud your judgment. It’s okay to be nervous, and to want things to go well. Take off your rose-colored glasses and see him for who he is, not who you want him to be.
Practice Being Present And Not Futurizing Your Relationship
Your question tells us that you are already projecting into the future about this guy. Get present to what is happening right now, not what may happen in the future. Beware of dressing him up in groom’s clothing and instead focus on right now and continue to meet and date other people.
Getting to know another person takes time so don’t rush through the process. Practice staying present to each moment. Notice when you are filling in the blanks or checking off boxes. Let go of any agenda and you’ll have a much better time. Relax and enjoy discovering who he is and know you’ll be okay no matter what comes next.
Stick To Your Plan
What if everything goes perfectly and the two of you really hit it off? Does that mean that he should extend his stay so the two of you can take things even further?
Resist the urge to change the plan because things are going well. If he really wants a relationship with you then there will be plenty of time for the two of you to take your relationship further.
Leaving him wanting more at the end of his visit is exactly how you want him to depart. Express gratitude for the time you’ve shared together and let him know you’re open to more.
When you meet someone for the first time the desire for it to be special should not get in the way of taking things slowly. It takes time to know who someone really is. By taking your time you allow the space for true intimacy to blossom.
A good man is not a unicorn, nor is this guy. Just because you have a great connection on video chat or on the phone does not mean that he is your guy. Release the pressure of needing him to be “The One!” Whatever happens when he visits, know that you are on your way to your beloved.